A new study has revealed that 80% of young people with experience of parental separation or divorce would prefer their parents to split up if they are unhappy, rather than stay together.
Those surveyed stated that they would urge couples experiencing relationship difficulties to work on their relationship but not stay together purely for the sake of their children. The poll, which was carried out by ComRes on behalf of family law organisation Resolution for Family Law Week, questioned children between the age of 14-22 also looked to find out how much children would have liked to know about their parents potentially splitting.
An overwhelming majority admitted that although it was difficult at the time they felt that it was better in the long-term that their parents split up. 82% of those questioned stated that they would rather their parents split up rather than stay together and be unhappy.
Key Findings: Divorce Survey UK
The survey looked to answer a number of questions of those who had experienced a family breakdown so as to advise others on the best way to manage their divorce if it involved children. Those questioned were also invited to leave comments with two children of divorce writing Don’t stay together for a child’s sake, better to divorce than stay together for another few years and divorce on bad terms”; while another added that children “will certainly be very upset at the time but will often realise, later on, that it was for the best.”
62% of those asked about their parents divorce felt that they were not made a part of it and did not fully comprehend what was occurring. Half of all children admitted that they did not have a say about who they would live with or where they would live following the divorce. However, according to many this was a good thing, with 88% of those questioned stating that they preferred not having to make a choice between parents. 47% of those polled admitted that they had no idea what was happening during their parents divorce with 31% of those questioned stating that they wished there had been less fighting during the divorce with one in ten believing that their presence worsened the situation. Despite the negativity connected to the idea of divorce, the vast majority of youngsters admitted that they thought it was a good thing with Resolution’s research also showing that 50% of young people agreed that their parents put their needs first during their separation or divorce.
Jo Edwards, chair of Resolution, said:“This new information shows that, despite the common myth that it’s better to stay together “for the sake of the kids”, most children would sooner have their parents divorce rather than remain in an unhappy relationship.
“Being exposed to conflict and uncertainty about the future are what’s most damaging for children, not the fact of divorce itself. This means it is essential that parents act responsibly, to shelter their children from adult disagreements and take appropriate action to communicate with their children throughout this process,and make them feel involved in key decisions, such as where they will live after the divorce.”
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